I have been royally depressed over the last three weeks. The week my dad was here, I felt pretty good, but as soon as he left, I went down into the hole again. Then this last week I just went over the edge. And I was in denial so I was fighting it which means that I made it worse than if I had I just let myself cry and feel blue. Instead, I felt completely hopeless, took it out on everyone around me (my husband the worst), then did the self-loathing thing. Super great. Super fun.
When I have an episode, I usually go into hiding and in San Diego I can’t go into hiding. It’s easier to be down and blue when you can hide away in your quiet house. But I didn’t have my house and safety net in which to do this. I was just about to completely lose my shit when I got a call from my mom. She was calling to tell me that my grandpa had a heart attack and that she was leaving to go back to Arizona. So I packed quickly and within a couple hours we were on the road headed to Arizona. I’m spending a lot of time with my grandparents, will be here Tuesday for his surgery and then head back to San Diego a couple days later.
If I’ve been out of commission, if I have hurt your feelings, if I have made you feel ignored, I am sorry. There is no excuse, but the above is what has been going on. It’ll turn around. It always does.
Oh Tana, I am so sorry to hear about your Grandpa, he, and all of your family will be in my prayers. Best wishes to you and he for a speedy recovery. You know where I am if you need to talk or have a distraction. I hope you feel better soon.
I’ll be thinking about and praying for you.
Oh yeah, I feel totally neglected. How rude of you.
Ok…come on. I love you and understand what you are going through. If you want to hang out for an hour or two if you have time I’d love to cry with you. It was a tough week for me as well. Come over during the day when I am childless and we’ll make a bowl full of cookie dough
Tana! I’ve definitely been missing you–I was just wondering this weekend what you’ve been up to–but I just stopped by to check up on you and find out you’ve been in a dark hole! ::hugs:: I wish I could fly out and keep you company. Much love to you, sweetheart. I hope everything’s OK!
Well dear one, you know I can relate to your feelings after what I shared with you this weekend. Just let me know if there is anything you need.